By: Natasha Archary
Love, infatuation, matters of the heart, why do these emotions get the better of us? Decoding the dating excuses today is a tricky slope of pros and cons and acceptance or denial.
We see more “It’s complicated,” relationship status updates on social media profiles today, with many choosing not to disclose their relationships altogether.
This Wednesday on Kaya Drive with Sizwe Dhlomo, the team received an anonymous call for help from a listener who doesn’t know how to end her 3-year relationship with her boyfriend.
Instead of having “the talk” with her partner the listener has taken the route of avoiding him for over a month because she doesn’t want to “hurt” him.
In prolonging the inevitable the listener is treading a very dangerous path of tiptoeing around the collapse of her relationship, as opposed to addressing the elephant in the room – she doesn’t love him anymore.
In a previous article, “Lost in translation – breaking down the online dating jargon,” I touched on the various dating jargons people throw around to describe stages of their relationship.
Many Kaya Drive listeners suggested the listener either “ghosts” or throws her boyfriend “breadcrumbs” until she’s ready to end things with him. This isn’t the solution however and it may be time the listener rips the bandaid off and is honest with her partner about what’s not working in their relationship.
Decoding the dating excuses is not everyone’s forte, which is why the Kaya Drive team has come to the rescue of the listener and save her from further relationship turmoil and help put things into perspective.
Doing so may give him the closure to help him move on without feeling he was solely at fault for the demise of their relationship.
Since the listener doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, these are 3 ways she could break up with her boyfriend:
Work keeps me busy
It’s one of the most common reasons people use to end their relationship. Prioritising your career over a relationship can’t be viewed as being selfish, it means you’re working towards a goal and don’t want any distractions. Granted, if you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way around work schedule conflicts but hopefully, it’s enough to get the listener out of her relationship.
I feel we’ve drifted apart
Okay, this may seem a little clichéd but it happens. Once the novelty of the relationship wears off and the honeymoon phase is over, people realise that their relationship isn’t fulfilling them.
Your partner should know that the relationship isn’t working so they can move on and invest their time, love and energy into something and someone else that will reciprocate.
3. I don’t want a relationship right now
I’m not in a good space, there’s a lot going on right now, I’m not able to love you the way you deserve to be loved. All perfectly reasonable excuses to give someone when you’re breaking up with them. The point is to make your reason for the breakup final and not give them hope of reconciliation.