By: Natasha Archary
Experts warn that pornography distorts intimate relationships by creating unrealistic expectations in relationships.
Gary Gilles, a clinical professional counsellor says that porn can have a negative effect on emotional intimacy because some partners do consider secretly watching porn an indiscretion.
This can then lead to further insecurities within the relationship and a breakdown in communication where one partner feels hurt or embarrassed by their partner’s habits.
Gilles says intimacy is built on trust and in order for one to be intimate with someone it would mean making oneself vulnerable.
If porn is something that arouses a person, it should be approached with mutual respect to one’s partner who should then have an open mind.
This would be better than a partner having to watch porn in secret because there would be no violation of trust.
But Gilles warns couples that porn is fantasy and says it creates unrealistic expectations in relationships.
“Movies like 50 Shades of Grey have romanticised hardcore sex to the point that it seems thrilling. What these movies and porn fail to show is that the people engaging in these sexual acts are acting out these scenarios.
It’s a facade that’s acted out to look appealing so that it sells.”
Gary Gilles, a clinical professional counsellor says that porn can have a negative effect on emotional intimacy because some partners do consider secretly watching porn an indiscretion.
In South Africa, 87% of people who watch porn are men, while only 13% of women watch porn.
Of this 57% are black, 31% are white, with just 7% being Indian and 6% being coloured.
Gilles says in his experience, the people who are prone to watching pornography are often those who grew up in homes where love and affection was scarce.
This meant that as young adults, these people were eventually exposed to porn and often substitute porn for real relationships.
“If a person repeatedly returns to porn to get that excitement, it can become a compulsive behaviour that can turn into an addiction over time.”
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