Khaya opens up about workplace fear and the childhood values that helped him speak his truth
Katlego Sekhu
Award-winning author and marketing executive Khaya Dlanga recently joined Point of View with Phemelo Motene in front of a live studio audience to discuss his book, Life Is Like That Sometimes.
The conversation touched on a range of themes, from growing up in the Eastern Cape to navigating grief after the death of his brother and mother. The discussion also explored how life’s most important lessons often come from unexpected moments.
Dlanga revealed that he had originally started writing the book before his mother passed away.
“I started writing the book before my mother died,” he explained. “After she passed, I stopped for a while.”
The loss made it difficult to continue with something so personal. But over time, the reflections that eventually shaped the book began to return.
During the discussion, Dlanga also shared a story from his time working in a large corporate environment that illustrates how early life lessons can shape the way we navigate difficult situations.
At the time, he had been working on a major advertising project and found himself in a tense disagreement with his boss.
“She was very smart and very good at her job,” he recalled. “But she was also terrifying.”
According to Dlanga, employees were so intimidated by her that they would pace outside her office before meetings.
“That’s how scared people were of her,” he said.
During one particular meeting, the tension escalated.
“She went off on me,” Dlanga said. “And I told her, ‘Listen, you are not going to speak to me like that.’”
He then did something that surprised even himself.
“I said I was going to walk out of the office and come back when we had both calmed down, because one of us might say something we cannot take back.”
After leaving the room, he immediately began to worry about the consequences.
“I remember thinking, what have I done? I am going to get fired tomorrow.”
However, when the conversation resumed later, the tone had changed. The situation eventually led to a more constructive discussion between the two.
In a later one-on-one meeting, his boss even asked him directly about her leadership style and where she could improve.
Dlanga told her honestly that people were afraid of her and often felt she spoke down to them.
To his surprise, he noticed a change afterwards.
“I could see that she was trying to be better,” he said. “I think no one had ever told her that before.”
The experience left him reflecting on how people often normalise difficult behaviour instead of addressing it.
“Sometimes we say people are terrible, but we never actually tell them,” he explained. “Then that behaviour becomes normalised and eventually it becomes a dominant part of who they are.”
For Dlanga, the moment also highlighted how values learned early in life can shape how people respond to challenging situations.
“If my grandparents had not taught me not to be scared, I might have reacted the same way everyone else did,” he said.
He believes many of life’s most important lessons are absorbed during childhood, often without us realising it at the time.
“There are lessons you learn growing up that you do not even know are lessons,” Dlanga reflected. “Then one day you find yourself using them.”
The themes explored in Life Is Like That Sometimes echo many of these reflections, focusing on resilience, humour and the unpredictable nature of life.
As Dlanga explained during the conversation, the book is ultimately about the experiences that shape us and the moments that reveal who we are when things become difficult.
And sometimes, as the title suggests, life simply unfolds in ways we never expect.
To hear the full discussion, listen to the podcast.
