Katlego Sekhu

A listener shares that her partner’s ex is terminally ill, and he has been insisting on going to see her as he feels compelled to.
While Anonymous is trying her best to be empathetic, she struggles to understand why this is so important to him, given that they were never married and do not share children.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know if there are any blind spots she may be overlooking.
“Over the weekend, my husband told me something that completely shook me. recently found out that his first love – the woman he dated for six years during varsity – is terminally ill, and he feels he has to go see her.
“I wasn’t ready for this. He explained that because she was his first love, he feels compelled to say his goodbyes. I’ve been struggling with how to process this. If they had been married or had a child together, maybe I would be more understanding. But she was someone in his early 20s, long before I came along, and he has since dated and eventually chosen me as his wife.
“Part of me feels I should let him go, because maybe this is about closure and humanity more than romance. But another part of me feels hurt – like I’m suddenly standing in the shadow of a love from his past. Since he married me, doesn’t that make me his first true love?
“I don’t want to be controlling, but I also don’t want to ignore the discomfort this stirs in. All hell would break loose should I even suggest I want to do the same with my first boyfriend. Is my blind spot that I’m letting insecurity speak louder than compassion?”
#TheBlindSpot
— #MothoWaBatho (@tboseZA) September 9, 2025
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