Katlego Sekhu
An aggrieved listener shares that his wife’s sister is celebrating her 30th birthday on the same day his family is unveiling a tombstone.
What shocked him is that his wife has been vocal about attending her sister’s party and not the tombstone unveiling.
Anonymous is concerned that if his wife can display such behaviour so early in the marriage, it could be a recipe for disaster in the future.
Reaching out to fellow Best T in the City listeners, the listener is seeking advice on how to best navigate this complex situation.
“I paid lobola in December, and since then, my wife and I have been learning to navigate life together as one. While not much has changed in how we relate to each other, our first real test as a married couple has come sooner than we expected.
“This May, my side of the family will hold tombstone unveilings, and on the same day, my wife’s sister will be celebrating her 30th birthday. To give some context, I’m from Mpumalanga, and she’s from Gauteng.
“What I found disturbing is how my wife has been very vocal about the fact that we can each attend our family’s events separately. This is especially disappointing for me because it would be her first event to attend as a makoti, yet she seems quick to dismiss that role.
“I feel like she hasn’t fully embraced the fact that she is now a wife and that she no longer belongs solely to her family. Would it be wrong of me to put my foot down, as the man of the house, and insist that we attend the tombstone unveilings together? I’d rather send her sister a gift since we can’t be in two places at the same time.
“I’m just worried that if we start attending family events separately so early in our marriage, we could set a precedent that might harm our union in the long run. Am I being selfish or too traditional? What could be my blind spot here?”
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