Katlego Sekhu
A listener recently shared that he started dating a fiercely independent woman this year, unlike anyone he’d dated before.
She is financially stable and has never asked him for anything. While this might seem like he’s hit the jackpot, he admits to feeling useless in the relationship.
Because she handles everything on her own, he struggles to see his value in her life. Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous seeks advice on whether he might be overlooking any blind spots in the relationship.
“I have been with my girlfriend for about seven months. While I love her, I can’t help but feel I will never be enough for her. She is an independent woman, with a fully paid house, a stunning car, a stable job, no kids, and a strong family background. She never asks me for anything; she does everything herself. I’m not sure if she earns more than me or if her family is subsidizing her lifestyle, but she’s financially secure and stable.
“I love that she is independent, but I also don’t feel needed. I feel so lost as a man and sometimes useless being with her, as she will never ask for anything. She gives me so much respect and has never made me feel small, but internally I feel shaken. As a man, you want to feel needed by your woman; you need them to call you even for the smallest things, but she always figures it out alone, and that bothers me. I have raised this with her, but she says this is just how she is and reassures me that she still chooses me.
“I know it might be my ego speaking, but I don’t think I can be with a super independent woman. I mean, if gifts don’t shake her, yes, she appreciates them, but she is not moved. Would I be dumb to walk away from my relationship? What could be my blind spot?”
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