Katlego Sekhu

Anonymous was over the moon when her boyfriend proposed, but her joy has turned to worry as three years have passed without any progress toward marriage. Despite his initial intention to save for Lobola, her boyfriend has yet to fulfill this commitment.
Turning to The Best T in the City with Tbose for advice, Anonymous expressed her concerns about the lack of movement in their relationship, especially considering they have a two-year-old child and he hasn’t paid damages. She suspects the engagement ring may have been more of a symbolic gesture than a genuine commitment.
“I was very excited when my boyfriend decided to go down on one knee and propose. Despite the challenges we’ve faced, this man is amazing. However, it’s been a full three years of marriage proposal but no lobola. When I asked him what was holding him back, he said he wanted to save money so he could pay lobola in one go.
“Sadly, my family has been on my neck since we have a two-year-old child, and he hasn’t paid damages. I am starting to think this ring was just a shut-up ring. I even stopped wearing the ring, and my mom asked me to come back home, seeing that my fiancee is not serious. My father is also not happy about this situation. Honestly, I love this man a lot, despite him promising me marriage and not living up to it.
“I fear that if I do leave and go back home, the relationship will end. I just want him to commit, as he promised me. What could be my blind spot?”
Listen to the full discussion and listener reactions on the podcast.
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