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Point of View: Why it is difficult to make things work after infidelity

By Zuko Komisa

If you’ve been cheated on, you might be going through a roller coaster of emotions.

Feelings of guilt, uncertainty, confusion, and worry might result from a broken heart.

It’s healthy to understand and process your feelings in order to move past the hurt.

However, in many cases, infidelity is something that a dedicated couple can overcome — if both parties are committed to the healing process and rebuilding trust that’s been broken.

Also Read: Deputy President DD Mabuza’s motorcade was reportedly in an accident on Wednesday

Point of View with Phemelo Motene spoke to Magauta and Nhlanhla Zwane about why it is difficult to make things work after infidelity.

LISTEN TO THE FULL CONVERSATION HERE:

PART 1

PART 2

‘There is exclusivity that we need as human beings”

Nhlanhla spoke about why the violation of exclusivity is one of many reasons people struggle to recover from cheating.

“When it happens that someone cheats on you, you can’t recover. It’s because you bought a lie, you neglected certain things you needed to pay attention to, and you now find yourself where you are. The way you were living, you told yourself that you don’t mind, that you are liberal, you are open, and he did the same and you found yourself in a situation.”

‘There is exclusivity that we need as human beings, we want to be exclusive and say ‘so and so is all mine’, I belong to them, and belonging is a need, and we don’t want that to be violated. This is one of the reasons people struggle to recover from infidelity.” says Nhlanhla

“Cheating exposes us”

“After infidelity, it is not nice. In certain instances, the partner being cheated on has always been controlling, you just gave them ammunition to do it more, and in plain sight. Cheating exposes us, it exposes those that have been cheated on and those who are cheating.”says Magauta.

Magauta and Nhlanhla also told Kaya 959 listeners that one of the most difficult periods of your life will be getting over an affair and that confusion and fear could accompany this problem.

They also added that it may, however, deepen and intensify the love and affection we all seek when we regain our confidence, own up to your mistakes, learn to forgive and work through issues.

READ NEXT: Point of View: How do you manage spirituality in your relationship?

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