By: Natasha Archary
One of the most important life lessons to learn is that, “the only thing you can control is yourself.”
It’s an inspirational quote which reaffirms that as adults we have to let go of trying to control how other people treat you because you can only control how you choose to respond.
The sooner people understand and accept this lesson, the better you’re able to deal with toxic or difficult people in your life.
Especially when you consider that not everyone is aware of their toxic traits and go about their lives blissfully unaware of the negativity they spread.
So the minute you allow anyone the power to control your emotions, you’re essentially handing them the power to create chaos and derive satisfaction by pushing your buttons.
Dealing with difficult people
Research shows that most people deal with difficult people at the workplace but they may be encountered in your personal life too.
Friends and family members who are always invading your boundaries for one, can make it especially hard for you to establish a healthy relationship or even maintain one.
The first thing you need to accept is that you will not be able to change someone, so don’t even attempt to.
In fact, if you try to change someone, or bring to their attention how their behaviour affects you, it may just lead to them resenting you, getting defensive or haboring a grudge against you.
This doesn’t bode well, especially if you’re working with the person and it could make for a hostile environment on top of dealing with them personally.
The best way to putting up with people who make life harder, is to disengage them by understanding things from their perspective.
You don’t have to agree with them, nor do you have to validate why they are the way they are but you can try communicating with them in a way they reciprocate.
This does not mean that you respect them more than you do yourself, the aim here is to beat the toxic person at their own game.
Sometimes, you can achieve more with honey than vinegar.
5 Types of difficult people
- The narcissist – Nothing is their fault.
- Pessimist – The glass is always empty with these ones.
- Too needy – Your relationship is never a give and take, they just take. It’s always about how they can benefit and these people are selfish.
- The egomaniac – Can you get more obnoxious than this? Probably not. This person thinks so highly of themselves and seem to think they know it all.
- Level 1 complainer – The “Karen’s” of the world if you will. The type of people who can never be satisfied with anything and are always complaining.
