By: Natasha Archary
The saying, “it’s the little things in life” applies to Monday’s conversation on Kaya Drive.
It’s one of those sayings that can either work in the favour of a relationship or lead to its destruction.
As trivial as something may be to you, over time, it’s the smallest things that fester until it blows up to be the ultimate dealbreaker.
The sad reality is that not every relationship is meant to last.
Relationships end for a multitude of reasons and despite one’s best efforts to salvage things, sometimes the demise is beyond either one’s control.
It’s the little things that make or break a relationship
One of the keys to making a relationship work is consistency. It takes constant effort from both parties to keep things healthy.
If however you’re noticing passive aggressive behaviour from your partner, it’s important to address it before things spiral out of control.
Picking at the same issue for example without a change of behaviour means that you’re hit a communication dead end.
It may not be an issue to you but there’s a reason it’s being brought up more than once.
Both men and women have dealbreakers in relationships and it boils down to what your partner’s love language is if you are to decipher the issue.
Not picking up after yourself, flirting with other people, withholding information, not including your significant other in decisions, not standing up for them with your family adds up over time.
What happens is that couples will sweep things under the rug, walk on eggshells for a few days and then rehash the same argument a few days later.
Why? Because there’s no resolution, change in behaviour or agreed way forward.
Listen to the conversation on Kaya Drive with Sizwe Dhlomo:
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Mon 16:08:49 to 16:28:19 Kaya FM 95.9
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Find common ground
It’s a good thing when you are comfortable in your relationship and can be yourself around your partner but this doesn’t mean you start taking him/her for granted.
The minute you do this, you need to get out of that comfort zone and go back to square one.
That’s right, consistent effort.
The issue isn’t about the weight of the matter that is the reason for the fallout. It’s often that you or your partner feels the other lacks empathy.
Brushing off how something they did makes you feel because it’s insignificant to them doesn’t make it less hurtful to you.
And vice versa. Being cognisant of that means you are empathetic to how your actions impacted your partner.
There’s no such thing as a perfectly harmonious relationship and arguments are bound to occur.
But, there’s a fine line between healthy disagreements and behaviour that leads to a toxic love.
Also read: Boomerang relationships and its yo-yo effect
