Kaya 959 Reporter
When it comes to intimacy with your partner honesty is the key.
It is the one-act in any relationship that solidifies your union, the place where all walls are stripped away and you experience your partner to their fullest.
However, it’s also a place of unhappiness for many couples who struggle to communicate their heart’s desire to their partners. It’s also a very delicate space, where many avoid the topic because of fears of offending their other half.
There’s almost no easy way to tell her she’s not delivering the good in bed.
Also, as the only person who’s been given the responsibility to fulfill a very important part of your life, she’s not meeting your expectations.
Also Read: The Best T In The City: Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?
The Best T In The City asked Kaya 959 listeners how they have delicately navigated telling their partners of their underperformance in the sheets.
3 Important lessons from the conversation:
Women want feedback
Many women are willing to listen, in the right space at the right time.
Many of the females on the show expressed how there’s hardly a time where they sit down with their partner and get evaluated on their performance, that it’s not a common practice in their relationships.
Men will give hints when not satisfied
Some men are gentlemen, they will rather show you with subtle hints that the joy ride was below par.
One listener said they tend not to explicitly say the deed was bad, their strategy is to avoid cuddles or conversations as a sign of their unmet expectations.
Men fear giving feedback because of what follows
One listener says they are adamant about giving feedback as this sometimes leads to their partners responding negatively.
He shared his experience of the dangers of being brutally honest, in how when he tried giving feedback was met with aggression and resistance.
Here were some comments on Twitter on how to tell women they are not great in bed:
Women can't accept any bad criticism… Period. Their ego will be shattered… And it will kill your chances of tlof in future…. https://t.co/6Q0GsDP3vp
— 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥'𝐬 𝐀𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐨 履行 👹🥑 (@maniak01) January 19, 2022
Truth is you know when you didn't bring your A game to the party. Since I know that men don't like to tell women, nna I ask. And I do this because nna I will tell you if you weren't good (T&Cs)*.
— Puddy Tat 🐈 (@katselitlhapi) January 19, 2022
*This doesn't apply if it's once off.
#HowToTellHerSheIsBadInBed pic.twitter.com/7vEZSjBxbz
#HowToTellHerSheIsBadInBed it's true . Some guys struggle to give feedback. Depending on his love language he will indicate via his actions/ words & if he can't have an adult conversation with you or communicate his issues with your performance in bed it's an red flag 🚨
— Claire Mmuoe 🇿🇦 (@Claire_Mmuoe) January 19, 2022
I was told by someone’s daughter to *die a silent death* because I was handing over Sex Feedback, she didn’t take it well though hence she wished me death.
— Mahlatši Maibelo. (@Moses_Maibelo) January 19, 2022
A year later after breakup her parents found her dead in her bedroom.
I stopped giving feedback.#HowToTellHerSheIsBadInBed
