Why is it so hard for us to tell our friends that they are the problem when it comes to relationships? We will listen to them complain about their failed dates, we help them drown their sorrows, and comfort them instead of telling them that they may be the problem. Does this mean we are enabling them instead of pointing out the root of the problem, THEM?
Have you ever told your friend that they’re the problem in their relationship? If you think about it, we all have those friends who constantly complain about their partners or their failed relationships, we know they are the problem, but do we ever tell them.
The Best T in the City presenter, Tbose Mokwele shares his three Tspoons on why people don’t tell their friends that they are the problem when it comes to failed relationships.
Three Spoons on: Why We Don’t Tell Our Friends #KeWenaProblem
1. Friends Can’t Take Criticism: Many people can’t bear critical or constructive criticism without breaking down or believing they’re being criticised. As a result, we avoid reminding our mates that they are the issue with our relationships for fear of upsetting them. So, instead of assisting them in changing their ways, we simply bite our tongue and encourage them to wallow in self-pity.
2. We Fear Losing The Friendship: One of the reasons why we can’t tell our friends that they are the problem in their relationships is because we fear losing them. So we keep silent and turn a blind eye in the name of friendship, but what we don’t know is that the more we stay quiet, the more damaging they can be.
3. We Question If Its Our Place To Tell Them The Truth: The truth is that neither of us are flawless. We have vulnerabilities that they are aware of. And when you try to tell them the truth, you are afraid they will respond with their own reality. What if you’re wrong and upset, and you miss a friend as a result?