Kaya 959 Reporter
How do you maintain your individuality in your relationship or when in the institution of marriage?
Many individuals fear this when they begin a relationship in which people from two different backgrounds come together to share their experiences, likes, dislikes, and aspirations.
Individuals in such arrangements frequently begin to focus first on what their spouse enjoys as a result of extended time spent with them, unknowingly putting their own wants and needs to the side.
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Point of View with Phemelo Motene spoke to Magauta and Nhlanhla Zwane who are marriage coaches about the different ways couples can make sure their individuality is a mutually appreciated quality in a relationship and in marriage.
LISTEN TO THE FULL CONVERSATION HERE:
“Let me put it this way, there is no individuality in marriage, it is like putting beetroot on your plate, especially the one that has been mixed with vinegar and expecting it not to colour your rice. If you don’t want this person to influence you, then you don’t love them, it’s that plain and simple,” says Magauta
Nhlanhla spoke about how the mystery of marriage is about seeking to merge with someone.
“The nature of marriage is that you offer yourself to this person, and that is the beauty of marriage. Remember when you were born as a child, as a 2-year-old, you think that life responds by virtue of you wheeling, when they are hungry they think food must come, we are all born narcissists and no one can escape that.”
Nhlanhla also argued that marriage is the one place you will be tested to your limit in order to grow and that when two strong individuals add their distinct and different talents to their relationships, it thrives.
“Marriage is that entity that takes us out of narcissism because you now have to recognise somebody else and seek to merge with them and that is the mystery of marriage when you merge and become one. says Nhlanhla.
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