Zuko Komisa

Vengeance: Getting even when you have been wronged by your partner.
When there is a betrayal of trust, it can be one of the most serious sources of conflict in a relationship.
It might be challenging to process our own internal experience in this agitated condition, let alone find a solution with the other person.
Many of us feel betrayed when we believe our partner has harmed or misled us.
Having our feelings of security shaken by someone might result in a range of emotions.
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In this week’s Netflix Special Feature of Let’s Talk Relationships on Point of View with Phemelo Motene we discuss vengeance with the marriage counsellors Nhlanhla and Magauta Zwane.
Listen to the full conversation here:
What to consider when you are vengeful
“When you are vengeful in your heart, there is one thing to consider. you need to ask yourself how different are you from the person who wronged you. The minute you say I am going to get even, you are exactly the same as this person that wronged you in the first place.
You are actually worse because you have actually taken time to think it through, and planned it out.”
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When you are fixated on vengeance
“It starts of as a pain, that is legitimate, they have left you with the children, and you are overwhelmed. If you don’t attend to it, it will grown in you until it becomes your reality, it become your identity.”
“You will do so many foolish things and cause so much damage. Unfortunately that is how human being are.”
People are no longer accountable to any one
“We all need people in our live that can call us out when we are doing wrong things. You need somebody, just one person that can look at you in the eye and tell you that this is not how things are done. Unfortunately we are such a power seeking generation and the level at which we are taking antidepressants in our generation is scary.”
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