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  • keyboard_arrow_rightWould you put your partner on a Relationship Performance Improvement Plan?

Would you put your partner on a Relationship Performance Improvement Plan?

By: Natasha Archary

performance improvement plan
Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

TikTok user, Nadeen Hui recently shared that she put her boyfriend on a “Relationship Performance Improvement Plan” to help him be a better partner to her.

Nadeen’s video has been viewed 262 000 times with more women than men saying they would definitely try the suggestion to see if it would make a positive difference to their relationships.

Explaining the reason she put her boyfriend on a Performance Improvement Plan (PIP), Nadeen said that although they were compatible, her relationship with her partner hit many stumbling blocks in the early phase.

“We started living together really early on in our relationship, so we saw all of our living habits and lifestyles super quickly.

I honestly think it worked out better this way because we could decide if we actually wanted to work on these lifestyle habits together or split up.

Since it was so new, there wouldn’t be much love lost and we’d still be friends. Ultimately, we decided that we wanted to stay together, and these lifestyle changes were for the better, so why not just do it?

I had to learn to be more accepting and easy going, and he had to learn to be more tidy and considerate of shared spaces.”

TikTok user Nadeen on why she put her boyfriend on a Performance Improvement Plan
@nadeenhui we started living together really early on in our relationship so we saw all of each others living habits and lifestyles super quickly. and i honestly think it worked out better this way because we could decide if we actually wanted to work on these lifestyle habits together or split up. since it was so new, there wouldn’t be much love lost and we’d still be friends. but ultimately, we decided that we wanna stay together, and these lifestyle changes were for the better so why not do it? i had to learn to be more accepting and easy going, and he had to learn to be more tidy and considerate of shared spaces. #relationshipadvice #softwareengineerlife #lifeintech #girlsintech ♬ original sound – nadeen

In order for a Relationship Performance Improvement Plan to work, both partners need to agree that an arrangement is in the best interest of both parties and the relationship.

If this is the outlook going in, then a PIP for your relationship can be a win-win.

But, if one partner uses the PIP to “parent” the other person, or is manipulative using the plan to belittle or treat their partner like they’re always on trial for messing up, it could lead to the partnership becoming very toxic.

This can be very damaging to your partner’s self-esteem, and as Mbali Dhlamini put it, being in a relationship shouldn’t feel like you’re boxed in.

Relationships should give both partners room to breathe and just be human, allowing room for errors and the occasional, “I’m sorry love, I forgot.”

Listen to the conversation on Kaya Drive:

Also read: Tbose and Mapaseka celebrate 21st anniversary

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