By Wanique Block
Stand-by lovers are people who are considered to be a backup plan, in case your current relationship doesn’t work out.
Stand-by partners are usually kept around for various reasons. Some people maintain stand-by relationships because they avoid the idea of being alone, and other people maintain stand-by partners just for the sake of having fun.
On Feel Good with Andy Maqondwana, Andy asks listeners if they have any stand-by lovers.
In a voice note, one listener explains the importance of having a stand-by lover, or as she calls it, a spare tyre.
“Ama spare tyres will always be there because everything in life has to have a backup. For Eskom we have generators, for the stoves at home we have a prima stove. That said, spare tyres are emergency responses and with them, it’s not like you will be upgrading them to main, no no no. They are there to fill in the position of the man”, she said.
Another listener shares how she has spare lovers who provide her with different functions.
“I have two spare wheels and a main [partner]. From the two spares, I have a Minister of Transport and a Minister of Finance. They don’t want to leave, so they will continue being my spare wheels”, she shared.
Here are five red-flags that indicate that you could be a stand-by lover:
- They only entertain and keep you around for specific reasons e.g to pay their rent or use you for sex.
- They avoid discussing exclusivity.
- They’re not emotionally invested.
- They back out last minute to plans that have been made in advance.
- Relationships continue on one person’s terms.
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