Zuko Komisa

The phrase “Kuyabekezelwa emshadweni” the idea that you just have to endure and stick it out in a marriage is a line almost every African couple has heard.
Quite often, it is handed down by elders, sometimes as genuine advice, but frequently as a convenient shield to excuse or sweep the bad behaviour of their own children under the carpet.
But let’s be honest: are we all just lying to ourselves?
If you genuinely want to build a long lasting family legacy, do you actually have to grit your teeth and survive even the most embarrassing, painful moments?
On the other hand, times have changed drastically. Many are asking if it is finally time to ditch this mindset entirely.
There is a huge difference between being patient with a partner’s flaws and silently toleraming outright emotional, financial, or physical abuse. When “endurance” starts costing you your peace, your mental health, and your dignity, the price of that legacy becomes far too high.
Drive 959 recently opened the line to ask, what is your take on it? Is true endurance still the secret ingredient to a lifelong marriage, or has kuyabekezelwa simply become an outdated excuse for staying in toxic situations?
Listen to the conversation here:
The Drive Moment is brought to you by Netflix’s ‘The Polygamist’
READ NEXT: ‘My husband told me he is gay but wants us to stay married’ – The Blind Spot



