Zuko Komisa
Anonymous is grappling with a conflict within her long-standing friend group, centered around the behavior of one single friend.
This friend, who is unmarried and childless, frequently flirts or goes home with men at social gatherings where all the other friends and their husbands are present, subsequently boasting about her “free and unbothered” lifestyle.
This behavior has caused the majority of the group to cut ties with her, viewing it as inappropriate and “luring.”
“We are a group of six friends, all in our late 40s and early 50s. We met in high school, and some of us reconnected later after university. We’re all married-except for one friend, who is single and has no children. We’ve each built successful lives, with stable jobs and good incomes. However, this one friend often prides herself on her single lifestyle. She’ll be invited to events where all our friends and their husbands are present, but I can almost guarantee she’ll end up flirting or going home with someone-and then brag about it, saying she’s free and unbothered.
At this point, I’m the only one who still keeps in contact with her. The rest of our group has cut ties because of what they see as inappropriate behaviour-“luring” men, for lack of a better word. This situation is beginning to put visible cracks in our friendship circle. Last week, one of our friends hosted a housewarming party, and this single friend wasn’t invited.
When I asked about it, I was told, “She’s not wanted here-she makes us all look like her.” Now I’m caught in the middle. Am I wrong for still maintaining a friendship with her? I find myself defending her when the others speak negatively about her behaviour. But I’m also afraid I’ll lose my childhood friends over this. The truth is, she didn’t choose to be the unmarried one with no children-so is it fair that she’s being ostracized? Surely, having one single friend among a group of married women can’t be that bad. What could be my blind spot? – Anonymous”
