Zuko Komisa
Anonymous is feeling incredibly burdened and emotionally drained by the constant demands and criticisms from his son’s mother and grandmother.
Despite consistently providing financial support for his son’s upbringing and even his mother’s lifestyle for years, he now faces insults and accusations of being useless since losing his job and being unable to maintain the same level of financial contribution.
Anonymous reached out to the Best T In The City to get guidance on what could possibly be his blind spot.
“Uncle T, I was blessed with a baby boy 10 years ago – the same month my mom passed away. It was an incredibly stressful time; I was unemployed and grieving. In 2017, I finally got a job, and from that point on, I became solely responsible for my son’s needs and meeting his mother’s constant demands. Since then, the mother of my child and her mother have made my life extremely difficult. I have been paying for everything: nursery school, swim lessons, clothes, groceries, medical aid, bills – even funding a lavish lifestyle for my son.
When he started school, they chose the school, and I paid for the fees, uniforms, stationery, and all the extras. This continued until I lost my job two years ago. Now that I can’t provide as much as I used to, she calls me useless and a failure, throwing all kinds of insults my way. When I try to discipline my son or correct his behaviour, they accuse me of abusing him. The school often complains that he doesn’t do his homework, and instead of correcting him, I get insulted again. For the sake of my peace, I’ve decided to distance myself from my son and his maternal family. I’m emotionally exhausted.
I feel like they’ve ganged up on me, especially now that my mom is no longer here, my son lives with them, and they’re the ones currently taking care of him. I can’t help but feel like the mother of my child is frustrated because her “slave” – the one who used to fund her vacations and lifestyle – is no longer available. Would I be a bad father if I walked away? I’ve tried talking, reasoning, and staying involved, but nothing changes.
I can see my son is slowly being turned against me simply because I try to instil discipline and guide him to do the right things – things he doesn’t always want to do. Meanwhile, they spoil him and allow him to get away with almost everything. What’s my blind spot? – Anonymous”
Listen to the conversation here:
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