Anonymous wants to know how a man knows he has found the right woman
Katlego Sekhu
Anonymous is a self-employed man in his early thirties who came into his current relationship still carrying the weight of a difficult breakup. The previous relationship had left him not only without a partner but without a little boy he had grown close to as well.
The loss of both, he says, was hard. He has since maintained a connection with the child, seeing him once or twice a week.
His current partner is seven years his senior. She lives alone in Bedfordview. She has asked him to move in and rent out his place. Logistically, it made sense. Emotionally, it was more complicated because moving in would mean telling his ex and potentially reopening wounds that are still fresh.
They agreed to test the arrangement first. And by his own account, it has been extraordinary.
Despite his newfound happiness. He is not sure whether he is falling in love with her or falling in love with what she makes him feel.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know if there are any blind spots he might be missing, and how a man knows he has found the right woman and not just the right feeling at the right time.
“Uncle T, l’m dating a woman who is seven years older than me. We met just after I came out of a relationship with someone my age, who had an adopted son. That breakup was hard, not just losing her, but losing the little boy I had grown close to. We were tight. Thankfully, we’ve managed to keep a connection, and I still see him once or twice a week. Now here’s where things get complicated.
“My current partner has asked me to move in with her and rent out my place. She lives alone in Bedfordview, and I’ve got a townhouse in Fourways. I’m self-employed, so logistically it works- but emotionally, it’s not that simple. Moving in would mean I need to tell my ex and potentially reopen wounds, especially since the breakup is still fresh. Especially about his visit to me at my girlfriend’s house.
“We agreed to “test-drive” living together, and honestly… it’s been amazing. For the first time, I come home to someone who genuinely takes care of me. I don’t worry about food, laundry-she handles it all. The other weekend, I had an early meeting, and she woke up before me just to make sure I ate before I left.
“It’s a kind of care I’m not used to. I was raised by my dad after my mom passed away, so that nurturing, feminine presence… it hits differently. It feels warm. It feels like something I’ve been missing. But now I’m questioning myself.
“Am I falling in love with her… or am I falling in love with how she makes me feel? Am I choosing her, or the comfort she brings into my life? And maybe the bigger question is this- How does a man know he’s found the right woman… and not just the right feeling at that moment?”
To hear the full blind spot, listen to the podcast.
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