Katlego Sekhu

A concerned listener shared that she and her boyfriend have been dating for a few months. Everything seemed to be going well until a recent get-together with friends.
She couldn’t help but notice that her boyfriend was being ordered around, while all the other men remained seated. This didn’t sit well with her and has left her wondering if she’s dating an errand boy.
Although she loves her partner, she’s concerned that this dynamic might create challenges in their relationship, especially since she is dominant by nature.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know if there are any blind spots she could be overlooking.
“l’ve been with my boyfriend for about eight months. About two weeks ago, his friend hosted a braai, and I met and spent time with most of his friends for the first time. When we arrived, he introduced me, and shortly after that, the host’s wife took me inside to join the other ladies. Everyone was very welcoming. About an hour into the event, I noticed something concerning me.
“Since we arrived, my boyfriend had been on his feet the whole time-moving things around, braaing, fetching items when asked, and even responding when the ladies needed help with something. Is my boyfriend an “ice-boy?”
“At one point, I checked on him and saw that he was busy helping to braai the meat. Now, I know my boyfriend is genuinely a good man who likes to help others, but I have a very dominant personality, and watching him be everyone’s go-to person didn’t sit well with me. Honestly, I felt a bit embarrassed.
“As someone who’s used to being dominant, I find myself needing a man who isn’t “soft.” This situation made me question whether he’s the right person for me. Many of my past relationships ended because of my dominant nature, but this man seems to love and accept me as I am, and that’s why I love him so much.
“So now l’m wondering: Should I see what happened at the party as my man being a kind and helpful gentleman that even the ladies appreciate? Or should I be concerned and talk to him about not allowing himself to be made into an errand boy? I love him, but the “ice boy” image doesn’t sit right with me. What could be my blind spot here?
Listen to the full discussion in the podcast.
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