Zuko Komisa

Annonymous is in a dilemma that involve a request to meet a child her husband had outside their marriage.
She has worries as meeting a child who was born outside of marriage comes with a range of complicated emotions, including feelings of inadequacy, bitterness, and jealousy. Additionally, it creates the possibility of friction and disagreement with the child’s mother. She is also worried about how developing a relationship with the child will take takes time, effort, and emotional involvement.
Here’s her story:
“Uncle T, four years ago, my husband told me that he had stepped out of our marriage, and the lady
was expecting his child.This really broke me, and it almost ended our marriage. Our mothers got involved and asked me to
forgive him. We have been working on our trust for the past couple of years. I know that he
supports the child and that his mother fetches the child occasionally, and that’s how my husband
spends time with him. He, however, never tells me when this happens, as I asked him Not to.My mother-in-law is hosting the family gathering this year on the 26th of December, and they sat
me down and asked that my husband’s child come too. My husband and mother-in-law say they
appreciate that I forgave my husband, and they don’t take it for granted, but they feel it’s time for
our two kids to meet their brother and me as well.To be honest, hubby and I had made strides in our relationship, but I feel this has just taken me
back. I forgave my husband, but I don’t think I am ready to meet the son. I have since told my
husband that if the child comes to the gathering, then me and the kids will not attend. Hubby says
if I forgave him, he begs that I try to open my heart to his child, but I am really struggling.I have forgiven him but am not ready to meet his child.
What could be my blind spot?
Anonymous”
Kaya 959 listeners stepped in to give their perspective on how she could best approach the situation.
Listen to the conversation here:
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