Katlego Sekhu

A listener shares her experience from a recent night out with her husband and some friends. Everything was going well until her husband and one of her friends started dancing together. Initially, she didn’t see a problem, even cheering them on, but things soon became uncomfortable as the dancing turned inappropriate.
That same night, she decided to send her friend a text asking her not to dance with her husband again. To her shock, her friend responded dismissively, telling her not to worry and claiming that if she wanted her man, she could have him. This remark deeply upset her.
“Two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I, along with a few friends, went out. We were having a good time, and then my boyfriend and one of my friends started dancing together. At first, I didn’t mind, as they’re both known to love dancing, and I was even cheering them on. But eventually, I felt it crossed a line and became inappropriate.
“I didn’t address it in the moment, but that night, after we got home, I sent my friend a message asking her to avoid dancing with my man in the future. She laughed it off, saying that if she wanted him, she could have him, and told me to relax since it was just harmless fun. Her response hurt me deeply, and I showed it to my boyfriend. He got mad at me for not confronting him first and said I embarrassed both of us by texting my friend.
“The reason I didn’t speak to my boyfriend directly is that it felt like my friend was continuously seeking him out to dance, so I felt the need to address her. Now, my boyfriend has decided he won’t go out with us anymore, claiming I’m insecure and he wants to avoid any further drama.
“Was I wrong for sending that message to my friend? If so, how do I fix this? Is it wrong to feel insecure sometimes? I thought I was just setting boundaries for my relationship. What could I be missing here?”
The Blind Spot
#TheBlindSpot
— T. (@tboseZA) September 25, 2024
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