Katlego Sekhu
A listener shared that he became a father in his teens and had to start working immediately after high school.
His two siblings, on the other hand, followed the academic path. His brother’s wedding is coming up, and he has been asked to look after the children’s play area.
While he appreciates being trusted with this, he feels his family could have involved him more meaningfully in the wedding plans.
He carries the sense that because he became a parent at a young age, he was quietly labelled the black sheep and gradually sidelined from family moments.
It is not about refusing to help. It is about wanting to be seen for who he is now, not only for the choices he made years ago.
“I’m the son who had a baby at 16 and had to start working immediately after matric. My sister and brother followed academic paths, and now both have good careers. I took a different road – one shaped by responsibility very early on. My brother is getting married over the Easter long weekend. During a family meeting last week, my mom mentioned there would be a play area for the kids and asked if I could help supervise them with two of my cousins. She didn’t say it harshly or with any disrespect – but it stirred something in me. It made me feel… placed. I sometimes feel like I’ll never quite be that child in my parents’ eyes.
“They’ve never said it outright, but I find myself always volunteering, always doing extra at family gatherings – almost as if l’m trying to outrun a narrative that was written about me years ago. As if I need to prove, over and over again, that I belong fully. I’m genuinely excited about my brother’s wedding. I want to be part of the ceremony – the groomsmen, the dancing, the spontaneous moments that become lifelong memories. But instead, I feel like I’m being gently moved to the sidelines, assigned to stay busy with the kids so l’m not “in the way.
“And maybe that’s not what anyone intends – but that’s how it feels. I can’t help but wonder if my parents still see me through the lens of my teenage choices, rather than who I am now: a responsible adult who worked hard, who built a life for himself and my child, who grew up quickly and carried the weight without complaint. I’ll help with the kids – of course I will. But there’s a quiet ache in my chest.
“A longing to be seen, too. To feel fully included. To be seen not as the child I once was, but as the person I’ve become. The man who faced his music. And maybe that’s the question that lingers for me: Does the “black sheep” title ever really go away? And if it does… how do you show people that you are more than your past?”
To hear the full blind spot, listen to the podcast.
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