Clicky

IN THERAPY: Conversations on healing

By Ncebakazi Manzi

I did not know anyone who was seeing a therapist when I started searching for one in December 2010. There may very well have been several people but no one in my circles spoke about seeking that kind of help. I relied on books and movies to give me a sense of what consulting a psychologist entailed and to understand the value of examining one’s life. In most instances, those references were not in any way representative of me – a Black South African woman coming of age. My desperation to see someone was too profound for me to search any deeper and so with the little information I had, I made a cold call to a psychologist close to the office where I worked.

Long before making that call, I knew that something was amiss. Whenever I filled in those quick personality tests that were/are popular in some women’s magazines, a persistent thread emerged: that my self-esteem was low and I had very little sense of who I was at the core of my being. As a result, I did not have strong boundaries and was eager to please others even at my expense. In many ways, I did those tests to confirm what I already knew from examining my interactions with people around me. I had my suspicions about the series of events in my childhood that could have been the cause of my misery but the dots were not connecting well enough for me to be able to work myself out of it.

In my immediate family and broader community, I grew up believing that, for a woman, there is dignity in suffering in silence and I was determined to draw little attention to myself. As a girl, and later a young adult, I was incredibly stoic and hardly cried about the traumas I had experienced or showed much emotion about much else. By the time I was 28 years old and in search of a psychologist, the cracks of all those years of holding myself together were showing and I needed to talk to someone.

Dr Candice Peterson* agreed to an appointment and I saw her within a week of calling her office. I don’t remember that first session well but suspect that it would have begun with her asking me, “What brings you here?” Although she would have only asked the question in that first session, I have spent the last eight years in her consultation room trying to understand everything that moulded me into the person I was when I first saw her.

in therapy, therapy, Kaya 959 podcast, black women therapy, black women speak about therapy, black therapists, ncebakazi manzi,

For the first few months of consulting, I did not tell anyone, besides my boyfriend at the time. I made it known to my therapist that I had no intentions of revealing this part of myself to anyone and she simply smiled and said, “We’ll see about that”. At the time, I was deeply ashamed about being in therapy and for the most part, it was a journey that I took alone. Fast forward to eight years and close to 400 sessions later and I tell just about anybody that I’m in therapy if the conversation calls for it.

The reasons for my openness are varied. Firstly, my need for external validation has diminished considerably and therefore I care less about being judged. Secondly, there is a genuine interest amongst so many people who suspect that they may need therapy that I am usually keen to share my experiences with them. Finally, I am inspired by the few Black people I’ve come across on my Twitter feed who update about their experiences like it ain’t a thang. While I started opening up about therapy in my private spaces after the first year, I published a public post about being in therapy only in my seventh year. When I come across tweets in which people mention being in therapy so casually I marvel at their courage and am inspired by how nonchalant they seem to be sharing this part of themselves in public.

The upcoming podcast, IN THERAPY, of which I am the creator and host, is inspired by my own courage to talk about therapy in private and others’ boldness to speak about it in private and in the public space. Over ten episodes I will be interviewing people about their experiences and how being in therapy has impacted their lives. In the wake of the growing consciousness about the importance of mental health within the Black community, this podcast is my contribution.

IN THERAPY will launch on Wednesday 28 November at 1 PM. Click on the podcasts tab to find it. Follow Nceba on Twitter @ncebamanzi or send an email to: [email protected] to give feedback or share your story.

 

Listen to the latest from IN THERAPY

Written by: Kayafm Digital



UpComing Shows

DownLoad Our Mobile App

Privacy Policy

THIS PRIVACY STATEMENT FORMS PART OF KAYA 959’S TERMS OF USE POLICY. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH ANY TERM OF THIS PRIVACY STATEMENT, YOU MUST CEASE YOUR ACCESS OF THIS WEBSITE IMMEDIATELY. 

POPIA ActTo promote the protection of personal information processed by public and private bodies; to introduce certain conditions so as to establish minimum requirements for the processing of personal information; to provide for the establishment of an Information Regulator to exercise certain powers and to perform certain duties and functions in terms of this Act and the Promotion of Access to Information Act, 2000; to provide for the issuing of codes of conduct; to provide for the rights of persons regarding unsolicited electronic communications and automated decision making; to regulate the flow of personal information across the borders of the Republic; and to provide for matters connected therewith.

RECOGNISING THAT—

  • section 14 of the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa, 1996, provides that everyone has the right to privacy;
  • the right to privacy includes a right to protection against the unlawful collection, retention, dissemination and use of personal information;
  • the State must respect, protect, promote and fulfil the rights in the Bill of Rights;

AND BEARING IN MIND THAT—

  • consonant with the constitutional values of democracy and openness, the need for economic and social progress, within the framework of the information society, requires the removal of unnecessary impediments to the free flow of information, including personal information;

AND IN ORDER TO—

  • regulate, in harmony with international standards, the processing of personal information by public and private bodies in a manner that gives effect to the right to privacy subject to justifiable limitations that are aimed at protecting other rights and important interests,
  1. Definitions and Interpretation

1.1.“Personal Information” means information relating to an identifiable, living, natural person and where it is applicable, identifiable, existing juristic person, including all information as defined in the Protection of Personal Information Act 4 of 2013. 

1.2  Parliament assented to POPIA on 19 November 2013. The commencement date of section 1Part A of Chapter 5section 112 and section 113 was 11 April 2014. The commencement date of the other sections was 1 July 2020 (with the exception of section 110 and 114(4). The President of South Africa has proclaimed the POPI commencement date to be 1 July 2020.

 
1.3. “Processing” means the creation, generation, communication, storage, destruction of personal information as more fully defined in the Protection of Personal Information Act 4 of 2013.  

1.4. “You” or the “user” means any person who accesses and browses this website for any purpose. 

1.4. “Website” means the website of the KAYA 959 at URL www.kaya959.co.za or such other URL as KAYA 959 may choose from time to time.   

  1. Status and Amendments

2.1. KAYA 959 respects your privacy. This privacy policy statement sets out KAYA 959’s information gathering and dissemination practices in respect of the Website. 

2.2. This Privacy Policy governs the processing of personal information provided to KAYA 959 through your use of the Website. 

2.3. Please note that, due to legal and other developments, KAYA 959 may amend these terms and conditions from time to time.  

  1. Processing of Personal Information

3.1. By providing your personal information to KAYA 959 you acknowledge that it has been collected directly from you and consent to its processing by KAYA 959. 

3.2. Where you submit Personal Information (such as name, address, telephone number and email address) via the website (e.g. through completing any online form) the following principles are observed in the processing of that information: 

3.2.1. KAYA 959 will only collect personal information for a purpose consistent with the purpose for which it is required. The specific purpose for which information is 
collected will be apparent from the context in which it is requested. 

3.2.2. KAYA 959 will only process personal information in a manner that is adequate, relevant and not excessive in the context of the purpose for which it is processed. 

3.2.3. Personal information will only be processed for a purpose compatible with that for which it was collected, unless you have agreed to an alternative purpose in writing or KAYA 959 is permitted in terms of national legislation of general application dealing primarily with the protection of personal information. 

3.2.4. KAYA 959 will keep records of all personal Information collected and the specific purpose for which it was collected for a period of 1 (one) year from the date on which it was last used. 

3.2.5. KAYA 959 will not disclose any personal information relating to you to any third party unless your prior written agreement is obtained or KAYA 959 is required to do so by law. 

3.2.6. If personal information is released with your consent KAYA 959 will retain a record of the information released, the third party to which it was released, the reason for the release and the date of release, for a period of 1 (one) year from the date on which it was last used. 

3.2.7. KAYA 959 will destroy or delete any personal information that is no longer needed by KAYA 959 for the purpose it was initially collected, or subsequently processed. 

3.3. Note that, as permitted by the Electronic Communications and Transactions Act 25 of 2002, KAYA 959 may use personal information collected to compile profiles for statistical purposes. No information contained in the profiles or statistics will be able to be linked to any specific user.    

  1. Collection of anonymous data

4.1. KAYA 959 may use standard technology to collect information about the use of this website. This technology is not able to identify individual users but simply allows KAYA 959 to collect statistics. 

4.2. KAYA 959 may utilise temporary or session cookies to keep track of users’ browsing habits. A cookie is a small file that is placed on your hard drive in order to keep a record of your interaction with this website and facilitate user convenience. 

4.2.1. Cookies by themselves will not be used to identify users personally but may be used to compile identified statistics relating to use of services offered or to provide KAYA 959 with feedback on the performance of this website. 

4.2.2. The following classes of information may be collected in respect of users who have enabled cookies: 

4.2.2.1. The browser software used; 

4.2.2.2. IP address; 

4.2.2.3. Date and time of activities while visiting the website; 

4.2.2.4. URLs of internal pages visited; and 

4.2.2.5. referrers. 

4.3. If you do not wish cookies to be employed to customize your interaction with this website it is possible to alter the manner in which your browser handles cookies. Please note that, if this is done, certain services on this website may not be available. 

  1. Security

5.1. KAYA 959 takes reasonable measures to ensure the security and integrity of information submitted to or collected by this website, but cannot under any circumstances be held liable for any loss or other damage sustained by you as a result of unlawful access to or dissemination of any personal information by a third party. 

  1. Links to other websites

6.1. KAYA 959 has no control over and accepts no responsibility for the privacy practices of any third party websites to which hyperlinks may have been provided and KAYA 959 strongly recommends that you review the privacy policy of any website you visit before using it further. 

  1. Queries

7.1. If you have any queries about this privacy policy please contact us by emailing [email protected]