Mapaballo Borotho
South African actress Ayanda Borotho recently took to Instagram to share a heartfelt message about the importance of self-love and knowing when to walk away.
In her post, she reflected on the realisation that no matter how hard one tries, they will never be enough for the wrong people.
“You can do it all and do it right, but it will never be enough for the wrong people,” Ayanda wrote.
“I’m learning to allow people to earn the intimate spaces they occupy in my life. And I’m also learning it’s okay to demote, to reposition, redefine. It’s okay to walk away from what no longer serves you in the way you deserve.”
Ayanda spoke about the importance of not neglecting one’s own needs to please others.
“I could no longer abandon the parts of me that needed me the most,” she stated.
“The idea of being easier to love meant betraying who I truly am. Abandoning my own needs to fit those of others so I could belong to them. You can happily be a lead character in someone else’s story, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re not the author.”
The former Isibaya actress shared her experiences of being expected to be a source of strength and support for others, while struggling with her own darkness.
“You wouldn’t believe that as much as many may have found me desirable, the ultimate catch, the diamond… some made me feel difficult to love,” she wrote.
“Forget the looks, I’m talking about what I brought to the table. Love, support, protection, vision… you name it. On my darkest days, the healer was expected to heal herself. Surrounded, but alone.”
In her post, Ayanda also encouraged herself and her followers to prioritise quality over quantity in relationships and friendships.
“I want to be served by quality. Quality relationships, friendships, engagements. I’m not obsessed with the idea of quantity,” she stated.
“If it does not fill you… walk. If for every one time it gave you pleasure and 10 times it broke you, walk. Serve yourself a Johnny Walker, my love, and keep walking. And see how you’ll flourish. Your light is waiting to locate you. You just have to surface from the hole.”
She is affectionately known for preaching about love, positivity, and healing on her Instagram page. She has always been open about her own healing journey, including the loss of her twin brother.
In a post following her brother’s burial, she shared her gratitude for the time she had with him and her family.
“Just over a year ago, God opened a door that relocated me back to Durban,” she wrote.
“I was very intentional about staying at home in eNtuzuma for at least the first 6 months… Today I know that this was no sacrifice. It was a gift. A gift of time. The time I spent with my siblings and mom in the last year made up for all the years I had been in Johannesburg for over 25 years. I’m in pain, but still full of gratitude. God gave us time.”
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