When you have been betrayed by your best friend, you’ve probably felt the sting of betrayal.
Any betrayal can cause emotional distress. But when someone you rely on to respect your needs and generally protect your wellbeing violates the trust you’ve placed in them. You may experience long-term trauma.
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Betrayal trauma is usually described as the persistent pain and turmoil felt after:
Parenthood or other childhood caregiver betrayal
A loving partner’s betrayal
When you depend on others for simple needs as well as love and support, you may be willing to tolerate a betrayal to ensure your wellbeing.
Get the situation clear. Suppose you are the betrayer or the betrayed. In that case, the damage will be superficial. The disruptions are woven into the foundation of a friendship without causing too much damage. However, the consequences can be long-lasting and life-changing in some instances. In any case, how we view the rupture will exacerbate or relieve our discomfort.
Accept and work with your emotions. After confronting the crushing reality of a betrayal and your thoughts about it, you will begin to manage the emotions — the good, the poor, and the nasty. You would almost certainly have to deal with a variety of feelings after a deception. Your thoughts about what happened will not be constant.
Consider if you want to talk about your feelings with the person who has upset you (or the person you hurt). Perhaps the person who deceived you is there to assist you in processing your emotions. Under any scenario, talking about what happened can be therapeutic. However, she may be unable to engage you in that job at times, or you may choose not to expose yourself to the risk of further harm, which is often appropriate.
Acknowledge that there is no one correct way to react to betrayal. What is essential, though, is that you understand and accept your feelings, at least to yourself. After that, it would be easier to find ways to deal with the experience that fits well for you. If you do not have a clear sense of what you want to do, you might try talking or even acting out a possible conversation with someone you trust.
