By Katlego Sekhu
Why is it that our loved ones continue to hold grudges against the people that we have already forgiven?
Studies attribute this to the third-party forgiveness effect. Simply put, is our tendency to be less forgiving to someone who’s hurt those closest to us.
In some cultures, married couples are advised not to speak ill of their partners to their families, but instead speak to their in-laws when they have complaints.
In many instances, families fail to be neutral when it comes to their loved ones.
A listener attests to this.
“The grudge from the in-laws is the worst because they will always put their child first and hate you not knowing the full story.”
Another listener admits to holding third-party grudges.
“I feel like when it comes to third-party grudges I am the ring leader. To the point where the person I’m holding the grudge for has forgiven and forgotten about it.”
Listen to the conversation on The Best T in the City podcast.
Check out what people are saying on social media.
My cousin said to me this morning " taba ke tsa ba babedi"🤣🤣 cause she is always caught between my boyfriend and I's feud #ThirdPartyGrudge
— Broke Philanthropist🥺👑❤ (@Misho_Moetlo) September 19, 2022
#thirdpartyGrudge sometimes happens because nentse o sa batle friendship or relationship ya chomi ya gao to flourish with other people. We are closer to people who dont wanna see us happy…@tboseZA
— 🙌FinallyABillionaire🙌 (@SeboDazzled) September 19, 2022
Di byao di Bluetoothed grudges. O tla sala o dutse ke selo mo kgokgotsong 😬. What do you forgive? For what? They did not wrong you🤷🏿♀️ #ThirdPartyGrudge
— Amogelang Makape 🦋 (@amogee) September 19, 2022
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