Things we thought were signs of success at 21 that mean nothing a decade or more later.
By Zuko Komisa
At 21, the definition of “making it” usually comes with a distinct set of badges.
A flashy German sedan on a steep balloon payment, a job title that sounds impressive at weekend braais, or being the first among your mates to rent an apartment in Sandton or Sea Point these feel like the ultimate markers of adult achievement.
Take Thabo, who at 21 landed a junior analyst role at a Johannesburg consultancy.
He immediately leased a high-spec hatchback, bought a luxury watch, and spent his weekends popping bottles in Rosebank.
“I thought success was all about visible status,” he reflects.
“If people couldn’t see what I was earning, I felt like I was failing.”
Yet, a decade or more later, those flashy milestones often lose their shine.
By 31, the goalposts have shifted entirely. That balloon payment becomes a quiet nightmare, endless 80-hour workweeks feel less like ambition and more like burnout, and designer labels take a back seat to simple peace of mind and physical well-being.
Psychologists note that this shift in perspective is a natural part of human development.
Dr Michael Harris, a behavioural psychologist, explains:
“In our early twenties, our goals are heavily driven by external validation and social comparison. We want to prove our independence to the world. A decade later, internal metrics take over. We begin to value emotional resilience, financial peace, and autonomy far more than status symbols.”
Replacing those early markers isn’t about giving up ambition; it’s about redefining it. True financial stability turns out to be a healthy emergency fund and an active 13th cheque or pension plan, rather than maxing out credit cards for a weekend in Camps Bay.
Reliable load-shedding solutions, good health, and the freedom to spend quality time with loved ones become the ultimate luxuries.
Ultimately, growing up means realising that success isn’t about impressing a room full of strangers. It’s about building a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside.
This was a recent topic of discussion on Drive 959, where listeners weighed in on how the goalposts of success shift as we grow older.
Listen to the podcast for the full conversation. Kaya 959 podcasts are available to download.
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