Anonymous has spent years trying to help her best friend leave a toxic relationship.
Katlego Sekhu
Anonymous has watched her best friend unravel slowly, and then all at once. For years, the friend has been in a relationship with a serial cheater. As a group, they advised her to leave repeatedly, until they eventually stepped back and agreed to let her reach her own breaking point in her own time.
Six months ago, that break. Instead of walking away, she started drinking heavily and entertaining any man who showed her attention, framing it to herself as revenge. Two can play that game.
The situation came to a head when the friend called Anonymous in distress late one evening. Her partner was away, she had invited a stranger over, and the man was now drunk and refusing to leave.
Her children experienced all of this. The friend is still in the relationship, still drinking, still reaching out only when things spiral.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know if there are any blind spots she might be missing, and whether there is still a way to help a friend who does not yet want to be saved.
“My best friend has been in a toxic relationship for years. Her partner is a serial cheater. As a group, we’ve advised her to leave many times, until we eventually stepped back and let her reach her own breaking point.
“Six months ago, she discovered he had a newborn with another woman. It shattered her. She shared everything with us in the group chat, and once again, we urged her to leave, but instead, she started drinking heavily and entertaining any man who gave her attention.
“Recently, she called me in distress. Her partner was away, and she had invited a random man over who was now drunk and refusing to leave her house. To make matters worse, her kids had just come home and were in the house with this stranger. I rushed over and made up a story to get him out.
“It’s been weeks, and nothing has changed. She sees her actions as revenge-like “two can play that game.” But from where I stand, she’s losing herself, and her children are being exposed to things they shouldn’t be.
At this point, I feel like we’ve tried everything. Now I’m just the person she calls when things spiral. So l’m left asking-am I actually helping my friend… or am I enabling her to stay in a situation that’s slowly destroying her?”
To hear the full blind spot, listen to the podcast.
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