Katlego Sekhu
A listener shared that her husband lost his job a few years ago. They used his payout to clear their house and other debts.
She’s been covering the household expenses since, as he’s still unemployed.
Recently, her brother offered him a role helping out at his new butchery. He turned it down, saying he’s holding out for the “perfect job” in his field.
She feels he should’ve taken it – at least until something more aligned comes along. Reaching out anonymously to The Best T in the City with Tbose, she wants to know: Are there any blind spots she might be missing?
“Uncle T, my husband has not been working for two years now. When he received his payout, we used that money responsibly – we paid off the house and cleared our debts. Since then, I have been the breadwinner, and by God’s grace, I have managed to keep things stable at home. I make sure the household runs smoothly.
“I cover the bills, take care of the children, and even make sure my husband’s personal needs are met – clothing, toiletries, haircuts, and the little things a man needs to feel presentable. I also give him an allowance so he can still go out with his friends without feeling completely restricted. Recently, my brother opened a small butcher business and asked my husband to come help him, to basically be his right-hand man, to grow this business. I thought it was a good opportunity for him to stay active and at least bring something in while he waits for something in his professional field. But my husband refused.
“He says he doesn’t want to take something outside his engineering field and would rather wait for the “right opportunity.” Uncle T, the truth is, I am coping financially, and I thank God for that. This isn’t really about the money anymore – it’s about the spirit of the situation. I’m starting to feel uneasy carrying everything while he waits for the perfect opportunity. I worry that we may be getting too comfortable in this season instead of working our way out of it.
“I want to support my husband and respect his dreams. But I also believe that sometimes we have to start somewhere while we wait for the bigger door to open. Even if the butcher job doesn’t pay much, it would at least allow him to contribute to his own personal needs and ease the burden and the emotional pressure I sometimes feel carrying the entire household. How do I raise this conversation without making him feel small or disrespected as a man – while still encouraging him to take initiative and meet life halfway? What could be my blind spot?”
To hear the full blind spot, listen to the podcast.
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