Katlego Sekhu

A listener shares that her husband has no boundaries when it comes to his sister. She shows up at their house whenever she wants and borrows everything, from pots to cutlery.
But when she took her clothes without permission, the listener felt she had no choice but to draw the line.
This has not sat well with the rest of the family, and her brother is blaming her for coming between him and his sister.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know if she was wrong to set boundaries with her sister-in-law.
“My sister-in-law has a habit of borrowing – and I mean everything. Chairs, tables, pots, glasses… You name it. Last week was the final straw. I had to attend a colleague’s funeral out of town, so we left Friday after work. While catching up with my husband on Saturday, he casually mentioned that his sister came over and borrowed a white dress from my closet. I was furious.
“First, because I wasn’t home, so why not respect that boundary? Second, why couldn’t my husband at least call me before allowing her to take it? When I got back that evening, I had a serious talk with him. His response? That he and his sister were raised to share everything, so for him, it’s normal, and he struggles to say no.
“But I come from a different background, where if you don’t have something, you don’t have it. Borrowing wasn’t part of our way. And honestly, while my sister-in-law and I used to have a good relationship, I had hoped my husband would handle it. But since he didn’t, I confronted her myself.
“Now it’s been three months – no calls, no visits. The atmosphere in the family is cold, and l’m being blamed for tearing things apart, for being “selfish.” But I still believe boundaries are essential, and I don’t see what I did wrong.
“The irony? My husband drives a bakkie that I usually use to visit my grandma. Now I’m even scared to ask for it, in case it makes me look like a hypocrite. What could be my blind spot here?”
To hear the full blind spot, listen to the podcast.
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