Zuko Komisa

Anonymous is grappling with the discomfort of his friend’s wife’s repeated flirtatious behavior, unsure if it’s genuine or just her personality. He questions whether he’s overreacting and laments his difficulty in being direct about his discomfort, wondering what he might be missing in the situation.
Uncle T,
I could be overreacting, but whenever I’m around my friend’s wife, I can’t help but feel like she’s flirting with me. This has happened on several occasions, and last week at an after- tears, it happened again. It makes me really uncomfortable because I’m not sure if she’s just being friendly or if there’s something more to it.
She says things like, “You dress so well,” “You’re so easy to talk to, you must teach your friend,” and just last week, “Have you found a girlfriend yet?” I usually brush her off, but it’s getting to be too much. What makes it worse is that we have a mini weekend getaway planned for next weekend, and I’m starting to feel uneasy about going. I don’t want to tell my friend because I don’t want to cause any problems in his marriage – but what if it doesn’t stop?
Would it be best to skip the trip? And if I do go, and she flirts again, should I finally say something to my friend? I hate how uncomfortable this has become, but I’m also worried I could be reading too much into it. Being a nice guy works against me in situations like this-I wish I could be as direct as women are when shutting down unwanted advances. What could be my blind spot? – Anonymous
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