Katlego Sekhu

A listener shared that she has been a tomboy her whole life, and when her current boyfriend was courting her, he seemingly had no issue with it.
Now, a year and a half into their relationship, her boyfriend has started complaining about her appearance and wants her to embrace a more feminine style. This has never been her vibe.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, she wonders—should she change for the sake of her relationship or stay true to herself?
“I am a bit of a tomboy. I love wearing pants and sneakers, keeping my hair short or in braids, and not doing makeup or nails. I grew up with three brothers, so I was surrounded by men my whole life.
“My boyfriend of a year and a half has always complained that I don’t do what other girls do. He says he has never been with a woman who doesn’t like dressing up or doing beauty upkeeps, like hair and nails.
“At first, I thought he was joking, but he brings this up every other month. I am starting to feel the pressure, and I really love this man.
“But he shela’d me as I am. Kante, is it not men who always say they prefer women without wigs and make-up? Uncle T, you always say that you can’t change a person, but he is trying to change me.
“Is wearing more dresses a compromise on my part? Is this where I need to sacrifice for the sake of love? I feel like I am betraying myself by trying to please the next person. What could be my blind spot?”
For the full discussion, listen to the podcast.
Read Next: PICS: Inside Zozibini Tunzi’s fairytale wedding



