By: Natasha Archary
As patriarchy is so integrated in South African culture, there are many values both men and women should unlearn if true equality is to be achieved.
Equality of the minds, which is something that needs to be stressed because many confuse the need for women to have equal rights. This is not a battle of physical strength, nor financial means, a margin majority of women do not meet.
Instead, the years of conditioning, societal “norms” and prescribed expectations of women is what is in question.
It’s the generational conditioning that prevents us, (a collective us) from rejecting these “norms.”
Outside of the vast strides women have made to slowly emerge as successful, driven, ambitious career-women, the resistance is still there.
The proverbial glass ceiling still exists for women who have limited opportunities because it is still expected that a woman’s place is to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.
There are therefore still so many patriarchal values women should unlearn if she is to challenge these gender stereotypes and archaic mindset.
Endurance isn’t awardable
Endurance isn’t a virtue in relationships. The expectation that a woman must endure regardless of what she faces with her partner is why society turns a blind-eye to gender-based violence. There’s no pride in tolerating injustice from our significant others.
To endure, simply because generations of women before you have done the same. “This is just the way it is,” needs to change to “this is NOT normal!”
Putting up with abusive partners isn’t love, and if we stop enduring, and start acting, then change is bound to happen.
Remain silent
This is quiet possibly the most patriarchal value women should unlearn, that a woman should be quiet. That it’s considered rude and intolerable if a woman speaks up and voices her disagreement or opinion.
There is no honour in a woman’s silence and why should she sit quietly instead of owning her voice? Why do we teach women to not speak up when she’s being abused, or treated unfairly?
Because if she speaks up then a man will be shamed!
Sacrifice
Behind every successful man is a woman who sacrificed her dreams and desires to support him in his path to greatness. Most women put their ambitions on hold to play the role of dutiful wife and doting mother.
Acceptance
He wants to take another wife? A woman must accept.
You find out he has another family? She must accept.
Learn to unlearn ‘acceptance’. It’s nothing but a patriarchal value forcefully imposed on women out of convenience of the dominant class.
