By Motlagae Konyana
Losing a loved one is very difficult and can alter your life. One can never be prepared enough to lose a loved one – no matter how many burial socieites and funeral policies one may have. It is a traumatic experience and, sadly, at some point everyone suffers from loss in one form or another.
The loss of your child, loss of your partner, loss of your parents – these are traumatic losses and can leave you shattered and broken. How you manage or experience loss and grieving process is unique and personal as we deal with loss differently. Although it is often difficult to move on or get over a significant loss, if you allow yourself the opporunity to move through it and experience it and go through all the emotions, you may get to know yourself little better, you might discover you are resiliant and something greater that connects you to humanity as a whole
Dealing with loss is a holistic journey. Mind. Body. Spirit. Grief is universal. How far you walk along the grief journey is up to you as an individual. Casually, grief is about accepting or assimilating the change of loss, and trying to move on with your life. The grief cycle includes emotions such as denial, anger, guilt, depression and the last stage acceptance. Loss or grief can affect you emotioanlly and physically too. It can fill your life with disoritentation, confusion, numbness, questions, sleeping or eating issues.
Allow yourself to grieve and mourn the death of your loved one, remember the amazing memeories you shared with them. Don’t surpress your feelings so that you can complete the grieving process in order for you accept that life wont be the same from now on.
Here are some of the coping mechnisms if you are grieving a loss of a loved one:
- Ask for and accept support from family and friends
When your support network offers you support and love accept the help you will need it. It could be helping with daily errands or chores or even assisting with arranging of the funeral.
- Get a distraction
After the funeral, when family is gone and you are left all alone and you are trying to settling into your new reality, it’s good to find a distraction. Returning to work, or taking up a new hobby or activity may be good for you.
- Allow happiness back into your life and look after yourself
It’s okay to allow enjoyment back into your life without it being oershadowed by feelings of guilt that you are feeling happy.
“Grief is two parts, the first is loss. The second is the remaking of life” – Anne Roiphe