By: Natasha Archary
Are you of the belief that children should be seen and not heard? Do you shake your head disapprovingly if a child throws a tantrum? Can your rules be broken child without consequences? Or are you so strict with your child that there’s no room for misbehaviour?
Midday Joy with Unathi focused on strict parents this Thursday and many listeners shared their parenting approach when it comes to discipline and methods.
For families with both parents active in their child’s life, many felt adopting the “good cop, bad cop” stance was effective. Children who don’t listen to one parent but “fear” the other means at least one parent can stop bad behaviour and call the child to order.
However, research shows that being too strict with your child can have negative effects on the child and does not necessarily produce children who are well-behaved.
Kids will be kids. They will test your calm state of mind, push every button you have and cause you to raise your voice every now and then. Okay, who are we kidding, most of the time but a strict parenting style that adopts the “my way or the highway” approach may lead to children who grow up with anger issues and depression.
Being too strict on children means little to no leeway for defaulting and gives children the impression that a part of them is unacceptable.
Studies show that children raised with an authoritative parenting style tend to be more angry and rebellious as teenagers and young adults. Children raised by strict parents tend to put on their best behaviour when their parents are present and according to research creates an environment where the child learns to lie better to avoid getting into trouble.
Strict parenting may seem like it’s highly effective but it does little to build and improve the parent-to-child relationship.
Here are 5 signs you’re too strict with your child:
- Unwilling to listen to the child to hear their perspective
- No compromise
- Use punishment for a violation of rules
- Cold, unresponsive to their kids
- Use shaming and harsh words